I think i sorta joined a cult last night
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
