Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
