I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
