she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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