You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
