The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
