More tranny stories later!
She said her name was "party"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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