Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
