She said her name was "party"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize