I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
