Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
