Plan B is the new Plan A
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
