Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
this is an emotional support booty call
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
