Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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