I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
