we have officially lost it.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
