I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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