I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
