what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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