maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just cropdusted the office
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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