why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
