Screwed.edu
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
