dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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