It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
And then he peed in my hair
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