Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We left the knife in your bed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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