Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
