There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
