I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
