I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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