you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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