What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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