Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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