I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
