ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
