i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
