My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm so fucking centered right now
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
