Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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