i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize