he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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