Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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