He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so let's talk penis.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
