Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
