She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
