I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
send nudes
from the living room?
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