I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
