Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
