Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
