I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
