Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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