She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
