I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
