he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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