Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
