did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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