Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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