Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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