there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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