Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
