He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
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Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
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I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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