one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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