didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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