im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
