suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
