we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
