your parents love me but you hate me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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