they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
