i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
