yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize