I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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