I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
