So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How naked do you want me to be?
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