I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
